God ...be Merciful!

We are about to be trapped in another blizzard. You know what I say to that? (With my best Home Alone impression) "Aaaahhhhhh!" That's it, I'm going nuts! I tried to prepare a bit better this time. I already had food so I made sure I hit the video store for half price movie day yesterday. This is so crazy. God be merciful!!!!! Even the grocery stores are naked.

So how was your holiday? Good? Mine was okay. I don't get too crazy with the Christmas thing but....it was good. My Dad came into town for a few days on his way to see my uncles in AZ. He had quite a time with Patient Sunshine. Oh! And do you know that yesterday she said "Uh-oh"? Not to me, to my mom. I walked in on the moment and it defied description. I was so amazed. For the last few days she's been relentless about mastering the art of walking. I'm convinced she will do in just a few weeks. I can't believe it!

There's some gross bug going around. I was laid up at my moms yesterday because early Wednesday morning, I woke up with a sudden urge to hug the toilet. Needless to say by noon I'd made nice with the toilet at least five times. Eeeew. I hate throwing up more than anything. I didn't even throw up the whole time I was pregnant! I felt awful. Luckily this morning I was back in tact. I wasn't expecting that at all. I'm always pretty confident about my immune system but...didn't matter this time I guess.

...Job is good.

...Anxious for other sisters visit (w/Bro in Law and Nephew) on the 3rd.

...Tired of being trapped inside due to weather.

...Feel really good about life and financial changes lately.

...Also must confess to feeling a bit lonely (in terms of the opp. sex).

...Pleased with decisions I've made lately.

...Happy to be a mom.

Christmas Eve??

Eh, it just feels like another day. But happy Christmas Eve! to those of you that celebrate it. It's just been a lazy Sunday. It has the AUDACITY to be snowing again. Can you imagine?????? I swear. ...It is pretty though. ANd we haven't had a white Christmas in a long time.

So it's Reggae Sunday up in herrr I guess. We watched 'The Harder They Come', then we watched this Bob Marley Documentary that I've watched a hundred times but don't care and don't know the name of...but it's great. Then, we watched 'Rockers'. I loved it! That was the first time I'd seen it and it was precious. And honestly, without the subtitles I wouldn't have understood what they were saying completely but the funny thing? I don't think I needed the subtitles. I still understood what was happenin. And I'm saying "we" like Sunshine was really watching them. Anywhoo...

Pops and stepmoms are supposed to be here from Kansas tomorrow. They are driving which is pretty brave considering the weather here. My sister called saying she could have everyone over at she and the gay cops house for dinner thinking she was making things easier or ...something. Then she goes, "...And I was thinking I could get one of those stouffer family size lasagnas or something". I couldn't believe her! I told her that if we come over to her house for dinner, we are going to eat and how dare her offer up some stouffers frozen lasagna if she's gonna have guests!! She tried to tell me the stores are cleaned out and there's no meat.
(Long pause)
"So....like is that the only there is to cook?" I don't wanna go on with the conversation. Suffice it to say the conversation ended with her saying she was going to consult her Cooking Light magazines and call me back. "Yes. Good idea", I told her. I swear.

I'm eating at my moms, my Dad told my sister not to worry about it. Whew. Since we decided to hold off on the holiday until my other sister arrives, tomorrow should be pretty uneventful. To be honest, I can't wait to get back to work on Tuesday. I've had enough of being home. ...I know. I'm sure I haven't done all I can do here but....still.

And about those New Years Plans? I think I'll be makin it a nite to remember...at home. Yeah, I don't think I'll be goin anywhere. I think me and Sunshine will be bringin' it in together and that's okay. I suppose there will be other times to party like it's 1999.

Happy Christmas.

Oh NO, too much SNOW!

So what do you do when your snowed in?
You rejoice over the fact that everything is closed and you get to remain warm and cozy inside. And that you get an extra unexpected day of rest! You go down the list in your head of all of the things you could accomplish with this extra time and then you get overwhelmed by the possibilities only to find yourself vegging out in front of the T.V. and making frequent trips to the refrigerator. ...Remark how pretty it is.

What do you do when your snowed in for a second day?
You decide that the day before was a total waste and that you should at least clean or something. Just be more productive! So you are and it's good.

What do you do when you are snowed in for a third day?
You start cleaning out drawers and things. Throwing out items that don't fit or get no wear. However, you still avoid the major places that need organizing like your work table or computer area. You cook, you eat, you talk on the phone, you have a drink and you realize that your suffering from a wretched case of CABIN FEVER and that tomorrow you will escape by any means necessary!!!

Coloradans are nuts. I heard that last nite people were out on the streets. I'm not that crazy, although I can understand getting sick of being indoors! And Coloradans are all about the outdoors! Everyone I know is going bonkers but apparently the streets were halfway driveable today so tomorrow, that's it -- I'm outta here! Me the baby and the dog. I know Mz.Jenkins is pissed. She keeps looking outside at some of the other dogs romping through the snow and gets quite jealous. At which time she grunts and looks at me as if to say, "Can't we go out there and do that?" Sorry sister. We did once or twice but she gets so crazy it's hard to get her back in sometimes and if the baby's with me....I just don't wanna be bothered with the hassle.

Sooo guys, what's up? Well, other than this blizzard the job is still going well. I'm officially done with the school. THe blizzard saved me from my last two days which was fine with me. THe new girl they hired(EARLY by the way) seems very cool but I'm betting she won't last long. She seems a lot like me, in fact we hit it off pretty well but she was quickly picking up on the disfunction with the administration, etc. She was already dreading coming to work to deal with them by her fourth day. That kinda sucks.

Lets go through my random thoughts...
I thinking about what I'm gonna wear for new years. I'm makin this one count ya'll. Last year for new years I was pregnant and drowning in a sea of depression. Not because of the baby, I think it was hormones and stress and the like. BUt not this year. I'm gonna party like it's ...1999! The building I work in is having this huge party so we're going to sponsor and go, it's gonna be fun. Hopefully everything works out around that. I actually wanted to spend new years with the baby initially but then when my boss mentioned this party I thought...hm, why not? WHen I thought about last year I was definately like, "Yeah, let me start this year differently". I'm reluctant to ask my mom if she'll watch the baby but I don't think she'll mind. Plus I figure it's all about establishing new traditions anyway and maybe that can be her and Sunshines, spending new years together. We'll see.

I wanna go see Dreamgirls on Christmas day and I never go see movies when they open. ...Hell, I never go to the theater period. I always catch it on video. I'm really excited for Jennifer Hudson, you know the AMerican Idol girl? I'm glad they are giving her such great reviews and I can only imagine what this all must feel like for her. She was on the TOday's show and sang 'I am changing'. She blew it up! And you could just feel how true it really was for her right now. Even she had a tear or two afterward. It was beautiful. And don't get me wrong you guys, Beyonce is okay too but damn. I'm a little tired of her. I'm rooting for the underdog and I can't help but think that Beyonce needs to go and read a book or two. I'm convinced that she's just a "childstar-singing robot" and that when she's like fifty, we'll read her autobiography where she discloses how she didn't have a normal childhood and how she feels like she missed out because of all those damn rehearsals in that basement. Maybe not. Maybe she's okay.
What's up with Carson Daley? Does that dude have an eating disorder?

Sunshines trying to walk. It's crazy. I don't know what to do. I took pictures of her efforts thinking I'd post them....as you can see I didn't. I took my camera outside when we went to document the snow for you all...didn't take any pics. BUT, I do have a good reason see: I had Sunshine in one hand and was holding on to her tight because of the ice and snow and was trying to keep up with Mzzz Jenkins and it was going to be really hard to snap a photo...with my left hand no less. She's growing so fast it's amazing. Before I know it she really will be talking and that will be deep. I 'm convinced she talks now...it's just in another language.

Today my friend and I were on line (via telephone of course) and were looking for African Orphanages because I told her I had all these baby clothes and wanted to send them there. Do you know we discovered that there are orphanages for African Child witches? You know I'm sending my clothes right there! It was kind of sad though because these kids get abandoned by their families after their families think they are witches. You should do the search, it's really interesting, but sad.

I re-arranged my place. I like it. It's more open and I chucked my bed. I put one of my sofas in Sunshines room...or what is now Sunshines room. I decided I can take the futon in the living room. I just wanted to simplify and make room. BUt as much as I love this apartment, I can't wait to move to something bigger. Not only that but it's gotta be first floor something or other with a little backyard so that I can let the dog out without going down any stairs, putting on a coat and blah blah blah...it's such a process.

I'm concerned about my sister who's married to the gay cop. I think the marriage is really stressing her out. You know, he got suspended for "something"....no one knows what (including her) for three months without pay and they had just bought this house. Last Sunday morning she called to cancel our brunch date citing financial strain as the reason. I said it was fine, that I could pay but that was cool because Sunshine was still sick anyway. When we got off the phone something just didn't sit right with me. SHe sounded really beaten down. Throughout the day in my head I just kept hearing "Something's not right and it's got to do with him". THe next day I kept meaning to call her at work and just got busy. By that evening my mom told me she was in the emergency room. The reason? ....Some stomach virus. ...Hm. My sister is the queen of internalizing. I'm still convinced it's him. But damn I wish I knew exactly what was up. Oh to be a fly on the wall. ....I need more data but she damn sure won't be the one to give it.


We're delaying our holiday festivities until January when my other sister comes. I think that's better because eventhough I don't get all engrossed in Christmas, especially the purchasing of gifts, it snuck up on me and I need some more time to get creative. And I absolutely despise holiday crowds.

Now that it's 4a.m. I guess I should think about some sleep. I better get what I can at this point. I'm sure the Sunshine will arise in a few hours. SHe's been wakin up early since she started regular day care. And I'll get some pics up, that's a promise. I know I'm such a blog slacker! But I said so much today I don't need to blog for another three weeks, eh?


Toodles.

Okay.

This post was not supposed to be about this, but can I just say I am SO OVER celebrity obsessed news shows? UUh Hemmm: Extra, ET, Inside Edition. This is the second nite my TV has just been on and all that is on at this hour are those kinds of shows. Last nite on one of them they took you on a tour of Clay Aikens estate and he's never shown it to anyone! Can you believe it? Ooh, ooh - then after the tour, you got to call in and vote on your favorite room in Clay Aikens home! This is ridiculous. Are you serious? Right now Anna Nicole is crying about the death of her son with a dry face and managing to plug trim spas new chocolate products she's sampling right now and crediting them for helping her lose 60 whole pounds of her baby weight? Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

I sware, it's all so damn silly sometimes.

Anyway. Helooo blog fam. It is Saturday nite/sunday morning and I'm having some ME time. I've been out of commission for quite some time, so I'm playing catch up. I crashed earlier and woke up again. I decided to actually get up. As tired as I was, I missed my late nite me time. Since I started the job, I crash so early I don't get it much anymore. I know...it's 4am and i'm on the damn computer. And I'm starving and I want some eggs but I don't want to cook them because I cleaned up my kitchen today and I don't wanna dirty it up. I know I won't feel like washing my pan right away.
But I digress...

So, guess what! I turned in my notice for my job effective December 21st! When I put the letter in my supervisors box I felt like a huge burden had been lifted. I think that was confirmation that I made the right decision. Now my supervisor wants to talk about it Monday. ...Whatever. It still won't change my decision, but I did tell her we could talk. Hey, she asked, so what the hell. I'ma be like:

Well Alice. It wasn't enough that my first week here I sprained my foot while being playful with the children and while I was hobbling and could barely take care of my little baby your concern was whether or not I'd be able to work the next day.

Or maybe my first month in when little Mason was choking on that bagel, turning colors with tears streaming down his face while the only assistance my First Aid Certified Teachers Assistant could offer was to calmly say, "Mason are you choking? I think he's choking". Leaving me to call on every piece of literature I'd ever read on the Heimlich maneuver and remember it in that moment and pray it was effective because my TA was just gonna let him die!

Or maybe it was Post traumatic stress after saving little Mason that went so overlooked while I continued to wrestle with the idea that as grateful as I was that it worked and he was okay, man, it could have gone wrong and had a very different ending. Let alone wondering how skilled the people are that were watching Sunshine should an emergency situation happen while we're apart. That was a little too close to death for me!

Or that your training methods (or lack there of) suck. I'm sick and tired of you coming up with new things I'm supposed to do every five seconds after I asked you to be thorough in your expectations. I hate your evening meetings. I despise your attempt at praise after you pointed out everything that we should be doing but are not because you think that we are octopuses and that two people with twenty five kids should function the same at four people with thirty five kids. I was disgusted at watching you humiliate someone to the point of robbing them of their dignity so that they were the size of a pea. I wanna be able to utilize regular day care and be able to pick my child up by 6pm and the money here sucks for the level of responsibility you put on people. I hate your "Prop Box" and your snack calendar and the goo gobs of redundant paperwork that must be filled out for god knows what on any given day. Ya know what else Alice? I hate the fact that you can't spell for shit and your twice my age. And last but not least, I can't surive on your scraps of a check lady. That's right. I'm more broke with this job than i was with no job. How in the hell does that happen. The money seems to be even less than I anticipated! ...?... I gotta go make some decisions for me...for us and I'm not sure why I'm starving for YOU PEOPLE! On that note Alice, you guys take care. Thanks for the good times I'm gonna go take a deep breathe because I smell freedom! A whole new world opened up just after I put the letter in her box. Maan. I won't really be that mean to her. I was just venting. But I will be honest with ther though about the basics of course. I'll spare her all that detail.

But I'm soooooo excited to start my new job! It starts Thursday. I'll go there first and then to the school. Then after the 21st I'll only have to go there. The idea alone feels so good! After Tuesday Sunshine will not have to arise at the crack anymore. I'm sure she'll be thrilled and so will I!

Oh well. I had such an plan for this post and it took such a different direction. I'll regain my focus on the next post.