Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Go get 'em Tiger! Grrrrrrr

Yeah, I know I said I was thinking about shutting down the spot, and I still am. But while I'm deliberating and feel like I may have a thing or two to say, I will! Things have just been so crazy. I overwhelm myself on a regular basis with various things. Stress, ideas, a list of life-time to-do's.... My job is basically to make the attorney I work for a "legal superstar"! I'm kidding...sort of. He's doing a good job of that on his own but a "guru" I guess. He wrote this book on Fatherhood and is like the "wholistic attorney" with a spiritual/motivational message.

...Not a mudslinger and always wins by fighting the good fight. It's pretty cool actually but he wants to grow his public speaking career, his writing, website, blah blah blah. So ALL DAY I come up with new ways to create this image. Right now I'm reading this to make it happen. It's actually quite interesting if you have any kind of business or venture. All of that to say that after thinking up ideas for another person ALL DAY, I'm spent. Not to mention my brain just turns to mush. I actually love thinking up ideas for people. So much so I'm branching out and adding "artist development" to my job description. My boss was down for it too. I must say I love the freedom I have there and the fact that it's not just "legal stuff" but his entire "enterprise"which can encompass a lot. The downside is that it's just overload so many days. I literally get headaches that don't go away for days. I'm convinced it's because the ideas just wanna get out and be born, but they're stuck at least for a little while. I know, goofy huh? This is a large reason for my absence. By the time I get home and the baby down, I just can't look at the computer anymore. Can't check another link, plug in another site, nothin.

As things have steadily accelerated since I started there, I've found myself having mixed feelings about it. I just didn't/don't wanna be that person that works all the time, can't go a weekend without checking e.mail or having something scheduled. Better yet, lives by a got'damn day planner. However, I can see myself moving that direction oh so steadily. Eeeeek! I don't wanna, but I do wanna. I'm so over the starving artist thing. I'm ready to have, and go shopping every weekend, and travel, and eat out whenever I want and decorate Patient Sunshine's room however I feel like it without going to the thrift store, unless I just want to, and going on shopping sprees at TARGET!!!!! (it's all about the little things people).
I'm tired of having to put off things and prioritize my wants. I deserve to have now. I've worked hard and sacrificed majorly for my craft these last seven years. It's time to make it work for me. Don't worry, I'm not putting my own ventures on hold by any means. I am however figuring out how and where I am most effective while still being happy in the j.o.b. ...Hence the artist development thing. A musician friend of mine had been asking me to aid in re-writing his bio, again, and another friend took me to lunch for three days straight just to pick my brains for ideas around his block party project he's planning(he wasn't slick). After that, when the headaches came again after my food induced brainstorm? I decided it was on. Time to start billing people. I love it! It's fun and apparently people need the service. Maybe that's my calling. Besides, as an artist and entrepreneur myself, I love to see people get their projects off the ground. Especially when it's benefiting their business. I know how hard it can be to try to focus on your craft and market yourself at the same time, and's a struggle.

What am I talking about here? I'm babbling AGAIN.

I told you I whacked the locs, yes? I don't think I mentioned how liberating it's been, not to mention fun! I swear...I had no idea I was so oppressed by the hair! I really think I was! You know, hair does hold energy and I'd been through a whole lotta SHIT with that SHIT: Businesses opening and closing, break-ups, rendezvous, depression, birth, the list goes on and on. It was weighing a sista down. So I was ready to let go of all of that in an effort to facilitate forward movement. Progress. Motion. Whatever you want to call it. It was time! I felt the burden lift as the hair fell to the floor. So first, I just cut the locs, celebrated the absence of hair. Then I got addicted to cutting. I cut it every weekend, shorter and shorter. Then I needed some pizazz AND I wanted it shorter. So please, if you will, behold the masterpiece. It has made me soooo bloody happy! I'm damn near skippin down the street the last few days! (I just got this yesterday)

That whole hair thing is overrated. I'm not sure when I'll be up for growing hair again. I recommend a good shave for everyone. My good partner in crime even got inspired and chopped hers too! Not as short as mine but it's quite short. I will say this has done wonders in terms of getting me excited about my wardrobe again. My ability to accessorize has improved significantly and my fashion sense returned! I was just a homely lil somebody before. SHeeesh! Why didn't you guys tell me? My good partner in crime is convinced that now the only thing I need is some "ink". It is part of the "blueprint to my freedom" she says. I've thought about it for a long time. I've just never come up with anything I felt strongly enough about to have tattooed on me. If something came to me though, I'd do it. I just have no idea what it would be and don't wanna think too hard about it. This is one girl that will not be going to the tattoo parlor and looking on the wall talkin' about, "I'll take that one". Yeah right.

(Now, if you'll excuse my shiney face and recycled smile)



Blogger ~OHSucker~ said...

This is a great post! I hope you don't mind but I linked it in one of the posts on my blog (

12:36 AM  
Blogger lady said...

girl, the new 'do is hot! hope all is well with you and the little one.

10:18 PM  
Blogger SunshineMama said...

ohsucker: Thanks! And I don't mind at all. I read your post...I think I missed that chastising song growin up..."ouch!" Thanks Ma! And we are chillin. What about you and yours?

8:37 AM  
Blogger Teri said...

You look so beautiful and happy! I am so intrigued by the head shaving phenom. Don't have the guts though, myself.

And YES - get the tattoo, girl!! I just did! It is liberating and wonderful and is just another way of celebrating your body.


8:59 PM  

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