...Nevermind dream translators

It's amazing how when you start asking for clarity or open yourself up to certain things in life, the universe never fails to answer. Lately I've opened myself up to healing around a lot of different things that were going on pre-baby but never really dealt with until now.

(Sigh)....deep.

I say all of that to say, nevermind dream translators...I think I figured the dreams out. I asked for clarity...and got it.

The human mind is amazing, isn't it???

Calling all dream translators....

Okay so...I keep this dream journal right? I'm not that good at writing in it every morning like I'm supposed to, but I also don't remember my dreams every morning either. From time to time, I go back to the journal to see if I can make sense of the dreams if I haven't already but there are two that kind of have me stumped, but for some reason I feel like they are important....maybe you can help?

So every now and then, I have the most interesting soundtracks to my dreams. I feel like the music plays an important part, but I can't always figure it out so I'm going to share them with you guys hoping one of you may have some insight. Or maybe we can just all put our heads together for clarity:
Dream #1: July 2006
Dreamt about this musician named Yami Bolo. I kept telling these ladies from this group I belong to, that they really needed to pick up his CD. Throughout my dream, this Rod Stewart song was playing LOUD but all I kept hearing was the chorus "...wake up Maggie I think I got something to say to you!" I thought for a minute maybe I was supposed to be Maggie. These kids were lining up to see this parade and one little boy had a dog named Maggie. "Maggie! You are a nut basket!" he told her. I laughed because I felt like he spoke to Maggie the way I speak to N.J....
Now, the funny thing is with this dream, I never knew anything about Yami Bolo or whether it was even a real person until I went online and found out. But otherwise, I've never heard his music...nothin.

Dream #2 January 2006
...I was with a group of people, there was one white male in the group and he says, "I'd never want to spend the nite in this church...cause I don't wanna bleed". Ironically there was this Elvis song playing in the background. I don't know the name of the song, I just know the words go something like, "I can't hold back...I won't..(don't know the rest). Then before you know it, he did exactly what he said he wouldn't do --started bleeding ...emotionally.

(Sorry for the color here, I messed something up)

I know that's not much, and actually I think I know what that one was about but I share it because it wasn't until recently that I found out the name of the song and the lyrics and once I read them, it was kind of interesting.

Where do these songs come from?? Cause I swear I don't know the lyrics in my waking life. If I were to make a 'SunshineMama Dream CD', it would be quite diverse!

Any dream insite? Any a'tall? ...good dream story?

Do tell...

Stupid McNupid

I am a complete- and - total - dumbass. Truly. I don't even wanna tell ya'll why. But hell, I'll open myself up for whatever, why not?!

Today, while my child was asleep on my bed, then woke up and was doing her wake-up cooing...she fell off. I AM A TOTAL JACKASS. Especially because I was finishing up something and something said, "you better go in there and check on her" and I put it off for just a few more seconds...almost done..."hold on babeeee!"

THUD!

Oh shit! I knew it, dropped everything and ran in the room and sure enough, the baby was on the floor. It took quite some time to calm her down. Of course I had to check her out make sure nothing was broken, cut, scratched...whatever. The whole time she was crying (because I swear that she can already talk, it's just her own language) I felt like she was saying, "Why did you do that????? That hurt meeeeee! If you would have just gotten your ass in here faster and greeted me like you always do when you hear me coo! That wouldn't have happened. Ow ow ow --fix it!!!!!"

I know, I'm unfit. Needless to say I held her so tight after that and tried to calm her down to the point where I risked suffocating her. (Sigh) ...thank god for boobs. That made her feel better after a while to the point where she fell asleep probably from the shock and trauma. Don't worry, I didn't put her back in my bed this time and she appears to be safe and sound.

After we both calmed down, it was too much for me so you know I had to blame somebody. Hey, the dog looks like a good candidate:
"Damnit N.J. why didn't you watch baby! You're supposed to be watching the baby, not in there snoozin'. I swear, you are useless. ....dang".

Please don't call social services, I promise I'll do better...really.

Seriously, though, I think that was my red flag to slow down, breathe and center myself. I don't need a louder warning.

peace

Daaayum, Daaayum, Daaayum!

I can't believe it. Are they serious? Are you guys watching this?

(sigh) Today I watched more than ten minutes of Flavor of Love. ...I don't know what to say? I'm speechless, I'm disgusted, ARGH!!!!

First of all, why do the girls have to have those stupid nicknames, ..."Somethin", "Buckwild"? What's happening? I've tried, but I just don't see the humor in it.

I was disgusted when "Somethin" took a dump on the G'damn floor! What's happening???
I was disgusted from the beginning watching all of these girls play themselves for who?...uh, Flava Flav? I was done when he stood there barking orders while holding a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken in one hand and devouring a leg with the other!!!! That's it, I'm sorry, are we all looking at the same thing? And are times really that hard? This has to be about the publicity. It can't be about the man. Now I'm not saying that Flav doesn't have a big heart, but for cryin out loud could he have some decency? He is settin us back in a major way. Why don't we just call him Flava "Stepin Fetchit" Flav, don't sugar coat it! Let's just call a spade a spade! I can't even allow myself to think about these episodes long enough to provide you with a thorough recap of the buffoonery.

Hell, who am I? Maybe I shouldn't knock the hustle. Hustle on flav.
But I can't watch. ...you?

Back on the Blog!

It's been a minute, yeah???? I'm back finally! Well, after the last series of drama on the old blog page, we are starting anew. Things are good, positive and peaceful so there are no complaints on this end, just busy. Sunshine keeps growing and growing and growing! Taking on a little PT j.o.b. and you know what that means? Someone has to watch the little one and I'm not looking forward to that. But that's a whole other chapter. Projects are beginning to take off and that's great, so....

I've missed blogging ya'll! It was so therapeutic, but the time away was good because I gave some much needed attention to my hand written journals. It tends to get neglected when I spend lots of time here. Uh...and I totally lost my train of thought so I will post and be more organized with my thoughts later.

Oh, but I do need your help with something. I know there are only a few of you that read this page, but I need a new blog name. Sunshine Mama is okaaay, but, I think I need something more creative. So for those of you that followed the previous blog and feel like you have some insite...can you give some suggestions? Then we'll take a vote...or maybe we'll just leave it like it is. Who knows.

I hope all is well with you guys!

LOVE . LOVE . and more LOVE!