Withdrawal
Wow.
I guess it's been a minute since I've written, eh? Well it wasn't by design. I actually posted about a week ago and when it came time to publish? ...Post completely gone. Yeah. I was pissed so I had to walk away for a sec. I had good stuff for ya'll on that one too! Oh well, we'll try again.
So things have been good. I'm about to start sending out my marketing packet thingeez for we.must.grow. I'm siked, but I think I'm jumping in and out of my own way if that makes any sense. I'm sooo excited to send them out because I feel reeeaally good about everything. ...I did good. But then I feel like...this is it! Success is right around the corner! All that you have worked for, all that you have sacrificed, all the setbacks and struggles as an artist, all of the --defending your career choices to your family, all of your failed projects-succesful projects, all of the recognition and the criticism leads to this moment here: The Pay Off. ...oooooohhh. Am I ready? Am I ready? My subconcious is debating, back and forth..."Oh Yes. I'm ready....Weeeell....wait, wait, okay maybe not. ...No I'm ready. ....WAIT! Hold on, hold on, hold on..." But it's okay. I'm gonna get ready. It's the hand holding the material about to put it in the mailbox...then pulls back to keep it out of the box. But I'm gonna put it in. I have to!!!!!!!
--------------------------------
I had to say good-bye to cable...not by choice. But can I tell you I'm just recovering from cable withdrawal? I know it's pitiful. You don't have to tell me. I realized it was my "bestest" friend. It spooned with me while I slept on my couch. It kept me company while I cooked sometimes. It said good morning to me all the time! And lastly...you guessed it...it was always there when I was in need. My loss came not a moment too soon. I started working this part time job. My hours are crazy, I'll tell you about that in a minute, but it now forces me to rest. I realized how much sleep I wasn not getting because of cable. ...Ridiculous. So my job is with this program that runs before and afterschool programs. I work from 6am-9am and again at 2:30-6pm. That six a.m is brutal! And I feel bad getting the baby up at that time but it's actually not too bad right now. For instance I don't really miss a beat with SUnshine. She goes back to sleep at the sitters from 6-9 and when I pick her up we hang out for a sec, she takes a nap, wakes up and then it's time for me to go. Then she only has to go the sitters for four hours. At least one of which she'll sleep for if not more. But it's good. I'm gonna try to hang until December, at least with that early shift. Then I may just switch to afternoon. I'm not sure I'd have a child care option that early in the morning after that time. THis job is so much less stressful than working with the teens...let me tell ya.
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I guess that's my update....Oh wait! I swear. In like two weeks, the little one has acquired the mechanics to crawl... and has the beginnings of two teeth. TOday we went to target and I had to exercise so much discipline! It was sooo hard not to take the money that I set aside for some work clothes and spend it on her. Of course we saw the coolest toys, the coolest clothes, baby bedding god knows what else baby that suddenly, WE NEEDED! But my shopping concience and financial concience was in full swing. "Put down the crib piano...put down the cow puppet...put down the three pair of shoes! Those are not a priority right now!" And I listened...I am proud of myself for that. Babysteps.
----------------------------------
And before I depart, can I tell you why I need new clothes? Not because just wanna treat myself no...
But because my body did a lil switcharoo after having the baby. A weight redistribution, something. Anyway, as a result of this, the booty I valued so much, the junk in my trunk, my ba-dunk-a-dunk, has been stolen!! It is GONE. I never thought having a kid would steal a curve. I thought it may just add to them. Oh no. My pants don't stay up because there is no booty for them to hang on too now. Can you imagine? I was okay with my curves and now....it's like an old friend has left or something! (Sigh) I dunno. The crotch in my jeans hangs like 4-5inches below my crotch. ...What is that! So I must figure out how to dress this new body. I'm hoping the weight thing doesn't shift again after I stop breastfeeding 'cause this new stuff is gonna have to fit for a while. ...MMhm, very sad.
Well, that's my spiel...I'm gonna crash.
P.S. Apologies for the lack of visuals lately...I've been having problems posting pics.
I guess it's been a minute since I've written, eh? Well it wasn't by design. I actually posted about a week ago and when it came time to publish? ...Post completely gone. Yeah. I was pissed so I had to walk away for a sec. I had good stuff for ya'll on that one too! Oh well, we'll try again.
So things have been good. I'm about to start sending out my marketing packet thingeez for we.must.grow. I'm siked, but I think I'm jumping in and out of my own way if that makes any sense. I'm sooo excited to send them out because I feel reeeaally good about everything. ...I did good. But then I feel like...this is it! Success is right around the corner! All that you have worked for, all that you have sacrificed, all the setbacks and struggles as an artist, all of the --defending your career choices to your family, all of your failed projects-succesful projects, all of the recognition and the criticism leads to this moment here: The Pay Off. ...oooooohhh. Am I ready? Am I ready? My subconcious is debating, back and forth..."Oh Yes. I'm ready....Weeeell....wait, wait, okay maybe not. ...No I'm ready. ....WAIT! Hold on, hold on, hold on..." But it's okay. I'm gonna get ready. It's the hand holding the material about to put it in the mailbox...then pulls back to keep it out of the box. But I'm gonna put it in. I have to!!!!!!!
--------------------------------
I had to say good-bye to cable...not by choice. But can I tell you I'm just recovering from cable withdrawal? I know it's pitiful. You don't have to tell me. I realized it was my "bestest" friend. It spooned with me while I slept on my couch. It kept me company while I cooked sometimes. It said good morning to me all the time! And lastly...you guessed it...it was always there when I was in need. My loss came not a moment too soon. I started working this part time job. My hours are crazy, I'll tell you about that in a minute, but it now forces me to rest. I realized how much sleep I wasn not getting because of cable. ...Ridiculous. So my job is with this program that runs before and afterschool programs. I work from 6am-9am and again at 2:30-6pm. That six a.m is brutal! And I feel bad getting the baby up at that time but it's actually not too bad right now. For instance I don't really miss a beat with SUnshine. She goes back to sleep at the sitters from 6-9 and when I pick her up we hang out for a sec, she takes a nap, wakes up and then it's time for me to go. Then she only has to go the sitters for four hours. At least one of which she'll sleep for if not more. But it's good. I'm gonna try to hang until December, at least with that early shift. Then I may just switch to afternoon. I'm not sure I'd have a child care option that early in the morning after that time. THis job is so much less stressful than working with the teens...let me tell ya.
--------------------------------------
I guess that's my update....Oh wait! I swear. In like two weeks, the little one has acquired the mechanics to crawl... and has the beginnings of two teeth. TOday we went to target and I had to exercise so much discipline! It was sooo hard not to take the money that I set aside for some work clothes and spend it on her. Of course we saw the coolest toys, the coolest clothes, baby bedding god knows what else baby that suddenly, WE NEEDED! But my shopping concience and financial concience was in full swing. "Put down the crib piano...put down the cow puppet...put down the three pair of shoes! Those are not a priority right now!" And I listened...I am proud of myself for that. Babysteps.
----------------------------------
And before I depart, can I tell you why I need new clothes? Not because just wanna treat myself no...
But because my body did a lil switcharoo after having the baby. A weight redistribution, something. Anyway, as a result of this, the booty I valued so much, the junk in my trunk, my ba-dunk-a-dunk, has been stolen!! It is GONE. I never thought having a kid would steal a curve. I thought it may just add to them. Oh no. My pants don't stay up because there is no booty for them to hang on too now. Can you imagine? I was okay with my curves and now....it's like an old friend has left or something! (Sigh) I dunno. The crotch in my jeans hangs like 4-5inches below my crotch. ...What is that! So I must figure out how to dress this new body. I'm hoping the weight thing doesn't shift again after I stop breastfeeding 'cause this new stuff is gonna have to fit for a while. ...MMhm, very sad.
Well, that's my spiel...I'm gonna crash.
P.S. Apologies for the lack of visuals lately...I've been having problems posting pics.
posted by SunshineMama at 2:06 AM
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